50 Things Just Because

I found this blog post I had bookmarked on my compute a long time ago. It's always been sitting there, but I usually don't pay attention to my bookmarks unless I need to look for something specific that I know I saved. Not really sure why I happened to click on it and read it again, but I did.

The blog post was a list of fifty journal writing prompts. All of them on the list are very intriguing topics and they really dive deep into some things. I always have plenty to talk about regardless, but I've been thinking that maybe I should let my readers really get to know me. Some of you might already, but others of you may not. My written journals have always been very personal things and while I do believe I've already shared some personal things on this blog, I don't think those few things have really told who I am . . .

It's always been extremely important to me that people know who I am. I feel that if you're gonna know someone, you shouldn't just have assumptions of them and who they appear to be, but who they truly are. You should be able to answer anything about that person. Maybe not specific things like "what's their favorite color?" (For the record, it's purple.) But things generally. Granted my closest friends and family know all of those specific details about me, but my readers and I probably will not have the chance to be on that kind of personal level. However, I can at least let you into how I work and think. ;]

SO! I'm gonna go through this list of fifty prompts and topics and do every one of them. They may not all be in order, because there may be the occasional day I have something else I want to blog about, but for tonight I'm gonna start with prompt one.

Prompt One: Name one thing that has always fascinated you.

Hmm . . .

This one is a toughie. There have always been a great deal of things that have fascinated me. But I guess for this I'll just have to choose one. Lol.

Let's go with emotions. I will admit that I have more than once been called an emotional person. I really am. I just hide it very well from those who don't know me. Believe me. I have more than once gotten teary eyed and snot nosed from an emotional scene in a movie. (I just watched The Odd Life of Timothy Green and silently cried like a baby at the ending.)

But what really sets off our emotions like that? What triggers us to feel love towards a person? Or dislike? What makes us feel excited for things?

And before someone reading this scoffs and says something all smart like "it's a direct result of the human mind and endorphines and blah, blah, blah . . ." I kind of knew that already. :P

But it truly is interesting. Just the way we feel towards a person can affect an entire relationship. Or an entire part of our life. Certain places, events, or activities can even be tied to an emotion.

It's always been something I have had so many questions and wonders about. Maybe my psychology class next semester in college can enlighten me about some of those things. Haha.

Well, that's all for now. I think I'm going to enjoy this.

P.S. Here's the link to that list if anyone's interested.

Writing Offline

Last night I had a dream that gave me a really good idea for a book. I always think that sounds so cliche. Lol. But when I think that I always just remind myself that it's exactly how Stefanie Meyer got the idea for the Twilight saga. Of course I never really expect my books to get that huge. My writing is really more of a hobby than it is anything else. I've always enjoyed it, but lately I haven't been doing it as much as I used to.

So I decided to change that. I'm taking this idea from my dream and running with it. Granted it may be awful because I haven't written in quite some time, but who cares. This is just another one of those things that I'm doing for me. I will accept constructive criticism, but please no negative comments. You can keep those to yourself. I'm making it a New Year's Resolution to be more positive in the coming year and I don't need any negativity from others. :P

As far as the writing goes, I haven't gotten very far. I have the prologue down and a couple sentences into chapter one. Lol.

I'd really like to give my readers some insight to my progress though, so here's the prologue. Comments are welcome. I hope you enjoy it!

___________________________

Prologue

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Two weeks ago I thought my biggest worry in life would be making it to college graduation without going insane. However, since then I’ve had so many wake up calls my head is still spinning.

I’ve been kidnapped and I’m being held captive in my own home. My captors may be savages, but they sure aren’t stupid. They had everything planned in advance for my capture. Which makes me think, how long had they been watching me before I was whisked away from my slow and comfortable life? Obviously everything had been set into place long before now.

There are two excessively gorgeous men fighting for my hand, and that one I’m still trying to wrap my brain around. In school I was considered the shy, quiet one who had no intentions of spending her life with any man. So basically, my roommate and any other person I came in contact with had me labeled as the one who would be the lonely cat lady. I know I’m smart and I submersed myself in my studies, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want a little bit of a love life! Now, though, I’m thinking I may have wished for a boyfriend too many times and God is answering that request with a vengeance from the chaos these two guys have put me through.

As if all of that wasn’t too much thrown on me, the one who’s been put in charge of watching me while I’m held here has been briefing me on a history that I thought only existed in fantasy novels. It turns out that I was completely wrong there. A whole mess of people have been hidden from society for thousands of years and apparently I’m right in the center of all the mysterious madness.

All of these things are terribly confusing, but the worst of all the recent events in my life is a result of the one person I thought I could always trust and count on. I guess I was wrong about that one too . . .

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Well, that's about it I guess. I hope you all enjoyed it. If so, please let me know so I can post excerpts as I go. Thanks for reading again. :]

Contemplation on the Rise

Every time I think I've escaped my "what if" thoughts, they always come back. Most of the time they're about my future career prospects. This time is no exception . . .

Right now I'm set to start classes for the early childhood education/development program at college in January. However, I'm beginning to think that's really not what I want to do. It's not that I don't want to, though. I'd just much rather do OTHER things. I hope that makes sense . . . :P

The idea of a writing career has never went away. I think that just got put on hold for a while after having my dreams of MSA crushed and tossed on the ground. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I didn't need that place to tell me I was a good writer. I would love to pursue journalism, but I really don't think something as small as a newspaper in Columbia would sate my taste for that career path. If I did choose to do that I would almost definitely have to move somewhere like New York or California, and the more I think about it I'm not sure I'd want to move that far away from home. As far as writing goes though, there's other things I could do with it. I've written my share of short stories and even accomplished one novel on my own. So I know that isn't out of my reach. The only problem with that would be finding a publisher, and that really wouldn't be too tough.

I'd also really like to be a tattoo artist. After an awesome Christmas (and thanks to my wonderful mother) I now have my own tattoo machine. With a lot of practice I could get a lot better. I'm already an artist, I just need practice and experience as a tattoo artist. Of course at first I could only practice on fruit peels and practice skin, but maybe after college I could get someone to apprentice me and then I'd be certified to get a tattoo license. The ultimate goal would be to open up my own shop which would both be a gamble and expensive, but it would probably be worth it in the end. I'd definitely have to move or open a shop somewhere other than Columbia, but that would be better than having to move completely out of state.

So those are my options. Well, at least the ones I'm considering. Maybe it's time to take a gamble and do something that's not included in my "plan." I've never been one to operate inside of the box anyhow. ;]

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Lol. If you're hoooked up with me on my Facebook then shoot me a message if you have any advice/input to give. But if it's anything negative, please don't tell me. I'm trying to do this new thing where I mostly look at the positive side of things. Constructive criticism or smart observations are different, but anything negative such as "oh, writing/tattooing/teaching is a HORRIBLE career field!" is not welcome or wanted. :P

A Break From Columbia

Oh yes. A very LONG needed break from Columbia. Not from the people or anything, but just from the town. I haven't left Columbia or the Columbia area for quite sometime now and it was about to drive me crazy. Lol.

I came with my mom, sisters, and grandma (my nanny<3) to my aunt's house in Louisiana. We're done here for five days which will be a nice little break. I'm not really sure what we have planned while we're here, but at least I'm not in Columbia. :P

Even if we'll be busy with doing whatever, I'll try to blog at least a couple more times after this once while I'm here. If anything interesting happens, you can be sure you'll all here about it! :]

Christmas is Here!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

I hope everyone has had a great time with family and friends the past few days. It's truly a great time of the year. Family comes together to be happy and joyful and share gifts with each other. Even if some people only come to get rather than give. :P

But anyway, I for one am not one of those types. I'd rather give than get honestly. As I think I've previously said, I hate when people begin asking what I want for Christmas because it makes me feel selfish. Lol.

However, I am very thankful for the gifts I have gotten this year. I'm still not done opening them all yet, but thus far I have gotten so many great gifts. Tonight I have Christmas with Matt and his parents and brother. It'll be my last one and I've been warned that I have about 15 presents under the tree. (His mom ALWAYS goes crazy getting stuff for me at Christmas time because I'm the only girl in the family she gets to buy for.)

I just wanted to share good wishes with all of you before I settled in for the night. Haha. Oh, and if you live around here, STAY SAFE! All of this insane weather is nasty and quite dangerous. I just hope and pray that my house doesn't get struck by lightening again because that mess was some kinda scary this morning . . .

So It's The End of The World...And We're All Still Here.

Ahem.

Matthew 24:36.

CALM YO-SELVES!

That is all. :]

Some Interesting Thoughts and Prospects

Well, after my earlier entry I did two things that I feel are blog-worthy.

When I got off work I went and had lunch with a very nice lady named Mrs. Bonnie and her friend/boss Adam. She wanted me to have lunch with them because of my desire to possibly go into journalism. Adam has had A LOT of experience in the field and she thought it would help me to talk to him. He definitely did give me a lot answers to questions I had circling around in my brain, but I'm also a little confused now. Before I sat down with them I had a strong desire to chase after my dreams and I've even began making steps towards it, but I've always been worried about taking leaps that will put me somewhere I don't want to end up. I mean think about it, New York, New York and Columbia, Mississippi are polar opposites. And while I know I could handle big-city life after my adventures in Paris this past spring, it still scares me.

I have so many things here in this little town that I also want. My dreams are important, but there are things I don't want to let fall by the wayside while I'm off galavanting in the city. I have other dreams that involve the people and places here. I also want to be a mom, get married to the wonderful man I'm with right now, and I definitely want to work with children. Sure I'd love to be a journalist and write for a career, but I still want to be a realist about this . . .

After lunch, I went to see someone who has had a very big effect on my life since 8th grade. The people from my school/town who read this will know exactly who I'm talking about when I say I'm speaking of Mr. Rob White. :]

He is and always will be my favorite teacher in the Columbia school system. He's taught me a great deal of things. Not only about math (which he certainly helped me with because I'm COMPLETELY math retarded), but also about life. Now that he's the assistant principal, it's a lot easier to just go and talk to him whenever I please. I've been wanting to do so a lot, but today I actually had the chance. I feel very privileged, because Mr. White is not one to have open interaction with students. However, after five years he still greets me with a hug and a big smile every time I see him.

We had a very long and in depth conversation about some of the things I've been going through lately. One thing that I love about him is that he's a Christian. And I'm not talking about a Sunday Christian. I'm talking about a bonafide one. He actually played an indirect, but very influential, part in my salvation. He gave me not only advice and comfort from his heart, but also from the Bible, which really helped. I have to admit that I did come to tears once, but I'm so happy that he was there to hand me a tissue and make me feel better. He regretted that there was not much he could truly do to help, but whether or not he knows it, him just listening attentively and telling me many, many times that he was so proud of me and my accomplishments in life (and a couple hugs and laughs) were a huge help.

It's sometimes the little people who help in the biggest ways and make the biggest difference in one's life. Mr. White has definitely been one of those people in my life and I'm so grateful that God put him in it.

That's all I have for now, but I believe I have put a LOT of stuff on display for one day. Haha. Today has been a roller coaster for my emotions, but it's nice to know that I had my amazing Matthew waiting for me at the end of it. (Also another person I am DEFINITELY thankful to have in my life!) Thanks everyone for being there and reading all of this. I just hope I haven't run anyone off with the INSANE events of my life. :P

Problems That Shouldn't Be Mine Somehow Are Always My Fault

The above statement (according to my father) is correct. I'm not sure how much I've mentioned some extremely traumatic and dramatic things that happened in my family back in August, or if I've even talked about them at all, but I guess I should describe it in a nutshell because this has a lot to do with it...

[WARNING! THIS IS ABOUT TO GET VERY REAL AND RAW! I'M NOT POSTING ALL OF THIS TO START ANYMORE TENSION, BUT I DID SAY IN THE BEGINNING THAT THIS BLOG WAS TO BE LIKE AN ONLINE JOURNAL, AND I NEED TO GET ALL OF THIS OUT.]

Back in August I walked in on my dad doing some . . . things with a woman on a school morning at 6:40 (P.S. He usually wakes up my sisters and I at 6:30 so we will have time to get ready for school). I was very pissed off about what I had just seen, but knowing I needed to worry about getting my sisters, my cousin, and myself up and ready for school I continued to do what I needed to do and simply turned away from them. Later that day I confided in my mom and my school counselor about it because I was very upset and I wasn't sure how to react to what had happened that morning. Well, soon after that my mother had an argument with the woman I caught my dad with and she brought up the incident. The woman then ran back to my dad and told her that I had informed my mom of the . . . event.

At the time my dad got this information, my grandmother was in the hospital and so I was there to visit her with my boyfriend and many other family members (including my mom and youngest sister), who were there when Matt and I arrived. My dad called me and proceeded to scream at me for telling my mom about what I'd walked in on and my mom took the phone and left the room. Later, I went downstairs to the front of the hospital to find out what had happened. She then informed me that my father had kicked me out of his house and disowned me (for the second time within a year) and that he was coming to get my sister.

When he arrived I went inside, not wanting to deal with his unreasonable temper and cursing. He argued with my mom and uncle, which really began to upset my grandma. So my aunt, the wife of my uncle, went to tell them that she was getting upset. Up to this point my mom and uncle had asked my fatherseveral times  - politely - to leave. That's when my uncle decided to push my dad (and it's also been said he hit him, however I didn't witness it for myself). My dad then got back in his truck and picked up a gun in the hospital parking lot and threatened my uncle with it. He then left, but I and several others had called the cops.

A lot of things happened after that, but basically now my mom has custody of my two sisters and I, and my dad only has visitation rights saturday and sunday during the day according to a court order. However, we have been having supper with him frequently on Wednesday nights (in public) before church. Everything was going fine until yesterday . . .

It started with my aunt and uncle. He picked up my sisters and cousin from school and he and my aunt told them that they needed to find somewhere to go because they didn't want my dad coming to their house to pick them up later. I got very angry and told my uncle these exact words: "Oh my gosh, get over yourselves! That happened four months ago!! I'm pretty sure he's not going to do anything to you. That's pretty rude anyway, don't you think? . . . You haven't apologized to him either, ya know." He then tried to throw in my face that he's "done things for me." What? Washed my car and bought me a couple things? And let me stay at his house once? That's about it from what I can recall. THEN, his wife sent me texts that said this: "I'm gonna tell your smart ass one thing- that is my damn house and our lowdown scumbag dog of a daddy is not welcome there ever!! If you think I own him anything you need [to be] institutionalized for psychiatric help. Don't ever tell me something smartass like that again. Got it??! Get over yourself!!!"

I apologize for the curse words, but those were her exact words. First of all, I don't thing anyone has been in the right throughout this whole situation, including myself. However, sometimes we have to do things that aren't right to make things ok. So that's what I've done. And it hasn't all been for me. Honestly, the majority of the things I've done involving this entire situation since August have been for the benefit of my two little sisters. I'm 18 and I've been through some very messed up crap. Things that have stuck with me over the years and will probably be with me for the rest of my life . . . It's sad, but it's true.

Anyway, let me finish. Apparently my youngest sister, Charli, mentioned that afternoon, before we met for dinner, to my dad about my uncle picking them up. My dad texted my mom and asked "that he please not pick up our children from school without you or your parents around." It made my mom mad and so she called him and they got into an argument. AS ALWAYS, my did brought up her having an affair eight or nine years ago, which led to their divorce. My mom then called me and told me all of this and said she was coming to get my little sister.

So after I argued a lot with my dad at the table AND outside in the parking lot, Matt and I left with Charli. We met my mom at our church and she took my sister with her and went home. The whole way from Wal-Mart parking lot to the church Charli and I were both crying . . . And I was later informed that Sheri Ann had been told about what has happening and she was also crying about it.

I feel bad that my little sisters have been caught up in the middle of this. I really don't want their little minds to be tampered with like mine has been. I'm 18 and I have seen and heard things that most people my age could never even imagine. Over the course of the past six years or so, I've had to grow up way before I should have and I've had to take on the responsibility of a twenty-something year old. Unfortunately I think that's slowly turning into a thirty-something year old . . . Sigh.

All of this had affected me greatly. Much more so than I'd ever be able to put into words. Most of the time I just try to keep it in and all to myself. Matt is normally the only one I talk to about this stuff. The reason for that is because sometimes I start ugly crying (snot, hiccups, tears, mascara lines, screams, body racking sobs, the works . . .) and I don't think that's a sight anyone should see. I'm just glad he continues to love me after seeing me like that. :P

Well, I guess that's all I have to say for now. Ah, I feel a good bit better now. Getting it out always helps me.

To any family members who have read this and been offended: come talk to me. Don't involve the social media. And don't get mad. Everyone always getting annoyed with me for not telling people how I feel and not talking to any of you. Well ya know what? I just did! So if you have anyting to say to me, you know how to reach me. :]

To my other readers: I will probably be posting two blog posts today. This is the first and it's SUUUPPPER long, I know. Lol. The other probably won't be as long and as depressing. :P

Buh-bye High School!

That's right! Today was my very last day at high school. I almost couldn't believe I was done. I thought I had one more test to take on Wednesday, but when I got to class today the teacher told me I had actually exempted!

I don't think it's all quite set in yet that I'm actually done, but it should soon enough. Haha.

I will admit though, it was actually kind of sad leaving today. All of my friends were hugging me and some were even crying. It was really sad to think that today was the last school day that I will see my classmates and the last day I'll be sitting in those classrooms. It's all bittersweet, but I definitely think it'll be worth it in the end.

Tonight I have one last thing to do in high school, though. It's the big night in senior project. My presentation! I know I sound enthusiastic about it, but I'm really not. Lol. Even though I do just fine with public speaking and things of that nature, I'm a bit nervous. I present at 5:50 and then I'm completely done. As long as I can make it between 8 and 10 minutes I'm not worried. I've been told a lot of good things when practicing and I've never been under or over time, so I have pretty high confidence about it all.

College is right around the corner now. My first day of class will be January 9th and I move into my dorm room on January 8th. The first week I have to bring my high school transcript to the school and get that taken care of, but then I'll be completely registered and ready for my classes.

Well, I guess that's all I have for now. Tomorow I'll probably put up a post of mainly photos. I have quite a few I'd like to share with you all. :]

Also, before I wrap this entry up, some people have said they have had trouble finding my blog page on FB. I'm not sure exactly how to get to it, but here's a direct link you can follow to get there! <3

*sigh* What a Week of a Rollercoaster. ..... I Mean Vice Versa!

Yep. It's been that kind of week. I feel like I've been on a bad rollercoaster ride all dang week. Up then down. Then up again! Oh, but then right back down...

ALL. WEEK.

I've been very stressed over many things that I'll just breifly name - money, Christmas presents, school, the future, what to study FOR the future, family drama, etc. Yeah. A pretty decent list for an 18-year-old, but then again I've never been you're average teenager I suppose.

Even though I don't handle stress that well in the first place, I've been majorly confused about so many things. I'm worried about how my college is going to be paid for first and foremost, but I kind of have to figure out what the heck I want to do first before I can even worry about that. At first I wanted to do social work when I started dual-enrollment. Then I thought maybe child care or childhood education. However, now I'm thinking about changing that to journalism. It's something that I've always wanted to do and had a passion for as well. However, I'm a very practical thinker. And while I would LOVE more than anything to chase my dream career of getting a major in journalism and a minor in fashion marketing to go work at Cosmopolitan in New York, NY, I just know that is a dream I'd be chasing for the rest of my life...

At times this week I've been so upset about career crap I want to cry. I actually want to cry my eyes out right now and just throw something and scream at the top of my lungs. BUT, I'm pretty sure that would not be very appealing to my co-workers...

Anywho, I am going to be changing my schedule to fit a path to a degree in journalism. It's what I want to do and I'm not going to let anyone stand in my way. Even though I have to face the fact that I'll probably never work at Cosmo, I can still pursue something in the field. So that's what I plan to do. Sure I may have to get out of Mississippi to actually do anything with that, but that's fine by me. I love this state, but it's time I started thinking more about my future and what I want to do as a career. Who knows. As my mom said last night, "Maybe one day you could be the next 'Devil Wears Prada.' You know, just not as big of a b****." Haha. Gotta love my mother.

The ups of my week were decent though. I finally heard back from the lady about Matt's Christmas present. That was an EXTREME weight off of my chest which I am very greatful for because I was about to go crazy trying to come up with a solution on such short notice. :P

Maybe I can make a good weekend for myself. I sure hope so anyway. That would be the best end to such a crazy week.

Well, I guess that's all I have for right now. It's a lot condensed into a few short paragraphs, but I didn't want to bore you all with the extensive details. Haha. Have a great weekend everyone!

Can't Depend on People These Days

Yep. It's true. At least for me that's the case. It seems like it happens every time I try to trust someone and depend on them. They almost always let me down in some way.

This time, however, it's really ticking me off. I ordered Matt's Christmas present from this lady who specializes in his gift (I won't say what it is because I don't want him to read this and find out. Haha.). She was SUPPOSED to have sent me several pictures on December 6th to pick the one I liked best. Well, here we are on December 10th and I still have no pictures. Honestly, I'm pissed. I've already paid for this ring with my mom's credit card and in the process of paying her back the money for it. This woman is late and NOT holding up her end of the deal. I'm severely disgruntled.

Of course this is just one example of how I've been let down over the years for depending on other people... UGH! And people wonder why I'm so freaking independent? Well, this is exactly why. People just about always let me down when I REALLY need them not to. It's never on little things like giving me a letter or paying me back a dollar or two. NO! It's always the big things that are super important and that I can't do myself. Things like this present.

What really gets me is that it's almost too late to get him another. It's something that I would HAVE to order, so there's really no other way around depending on someone else to do it for me. I have not choice in that matter. So I have two choices. I can either hope and pray (which I'd really like your help on) that this woman will get this gift to me on time, or I can just give up the idea of getting him this super awesome gift that I know he'd love and get him something else. I REALLY do not want to take the alternative.

People in this world really should be honest and keep their dang word about things they tell people. What really gets me though is that I choose this specific lady to order his present from because she had nothing but positive reviews, and now apparently she's gotten stupid whenever I, the one person who always gets let down when depening on others, try and order something from her. What. The. Crap.

Yay, another rant... Well I guess that's really all I have to talk about today. It's stupid and it sucks I know, but that's how I feel right now. Lol.

Bad Memories & Christmas Shopping

What two things could be more opposite right? It kinda sucks that both are being crammed into the same day for me. :P

Today (soon actually) I'll be going to see a counselor, courtesy of my mother and recent events that people apparently think I need counseling for. I really do not want to go speak to this woman. First of all, I have an utmost respect for counselors and psychiatrists, because I think what they do can help in ways that those who have never been in counseling can understand. HOWEVER, the office that I have to go to just so happens to be the same office I went to when I was about five years younger and was in a MUCH darker place. So I really dread going there because every time I even drive past that place I'm reminded of the past, which is not a place I like to frequently visit... I really have no clue what she even plans on speaking to me about because I. Am. Fine. I suppose I can only wait and see. Maybe she'll bring to light things I don't want to come to terms with myself, but I seriously doubt it since I have nothing of such sort to talk about.

Tonight I'll also be going Christmas shopping with Matt (my boyfriend) and his family. Most people hate to do that, but I love it. It's two of my favorite things phrased together. Christmas and shopping. Just my personal beliefs here, but I'm a Christian so Christmas to me is not just a time of getting whatever I want from family and friends. People actually consider me weird because I don't even like telling people what I want for Christmas. Maybe that is a little weird, but it makes me feel like an attention-whoring selfish little brat. Anyway, I like shopping for gifts for other people because it's a really good way to show someone you're thinking about them and that you love them. If you've never given a Christmas present, give it a shot this year. Giving results in a very good feeling that you'll never want to rid youself of.

So anyway, I'm not very happy about this situation because I feel like this counseling office thing may put a damper on my mood for shopping tonight. I'm going to try my best not to let it get that way, but I guess we'll see what happens. Hopefully it'll be fine and I won't leave there feeling like crap from all those old and bad memories.

It's One of THOSE Days

Yep. THOSE days. You know, the ones where you feel like utter crap and there's nothing that you can do to fix it? Yeah...

I've been in a terrible mood all day and just about the whole time I've felt like I was going to fall asleep. More than likely part of that is due to me getting sick late last night and not sleeping well afterwards. That was a big ole mess.

Hopefully seeing my boyfriend when I get off work in about an hour will help me feel better, but it seems like it's one of those days for him, too. So that really sucks, but I guess we'll see what happens.

At the moment all I can think about is how badly I want to climb into bed with my pjs on and clutching a mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows. Preferrably with my favorite movie (P.S. I Love You) playing on the tv. Yes. That would be nice.

Cheater Palooza!

Today I will be kind of ranting, but just bear with me...

I freaking hate cheating, cheaters, and whatever other word may be associated with the act of it. I know a couple (and out of respect for them I will call them John and Sue) who has been having some problems in their relationship. They've been together I think four years now which is a long time in itself, but apparently they have quite the cheating problem in their relationship. First John cheated on Sue and she confronted him about it. He admitted to it, but lied about certain details. Sue forgave him and then they were ok. BUUUTTT then John decided to cheat on her again. Sue, obviously being upset decided she wanted to get revenge. John slept with both women he cheated with, so Sue decides she's gonna go sleep with other men. Weellll, now Sue has gotten revenge and is content because John doesn't know. Sue, however, found out those certain details John lied about and now it's just a big mess all over again.

So let me comment on this story first. I will say that I am friend's with Sue. She told me this story and at first I was a bit shocked because Sue seemed like an innocent little one who actually turned out to be some kind of sex she-devil. I was very shocked to hear of all this. I don't think it's right to get revenge on your SO (significant other) just because he/she cheated. Personally, I would leave that up to God because I know what He says in the Bible about revenge (Romans 12:19). So I wouldn't take that into my own hands. I can't really say anything for sure about what other reactions I might have if I was cheated on, but I wouldn't take revenge. I think both were wrong in certain things, but at least Sue is willing to work things out. However, I don't think John is...

Next cheater story. My favorite show, Under Employed, comes on tonight at nine. I hope at least some of you have watched it or heard about it. If you haven't, look up the first few episodes. It's a REALLY good show about what the real world holds for newly graduated college students. I absolutely love it. It isn't reality TV garb which makes it even more enjoyable. I won't say any names to ruin it for those of you who plan on checking into it, but there's a character on the show who is cheating and I despise it. I just hate cheating!! But to cheat on someone who is so good to you and doesn't give you a single reason to run around with someone else? STUPID! Ugh.

Well I guess that's my rant. Haha. Wow. That was a good bit. Cheating is something that I will not condone.

If you have any clue as to my family relations and backstory, you'll know that my family was torn about by cheating and I've seen it happen from one parent ever since... That pretty much scars you for good. I will admit that I have been guilty of it myself in the distant past, but it has only been twice and it was a loooooong time ago. As in years before my amazing current boyfriend even came into the picture. However, I hate it. I've seen and been a product of a house being torn apart by it and while I've forgiven my mother for what she did, it still left quite a scar.

Anyway, that's just a little piece of me and my opinions and past. Bleh. Well, that's it for this entry. Thanks for those of you who are reading and keeping up with the blog. I love you all. :]

Chaotic-good-ness

Ok first of all, my doctor appointment I was talking about on facebook yesterday actually went well. I had to go see my lady doctor about some complications with my birth control implant that I was worrying about, but she informed me that it was nothing to worry about (EXTREME weight off my shoulders) and that the problem was actually normal and gave me something to take care of it. YAY!

This next part is bittersweet for me... My beautiful purple car has been replaced by another. Unfortunately, I can't keep a car that only gets eleven miles to the gallon while I'm in college since PRCC is a good distance away. Not to mention those awful roads would probably tear Ziggy all to pieces. :P Anyway, my mom and I have been searching for me a new car for a couple months and I finally found one that she and I can agree on. It's a black '03 Saturn Ion for $5000. Not a bad deal considering how nice the car is. And while I'll be really sad to see my awesome antique Z go, I'm glad that I'm getting a car that is actually practical and gas effecient. Plus, my dad is buying the camaro from me, so maybe one day in the future I can get it back. Maybe...

So after all of that good stuff, you're probably wondering where the "chaotic" part of the title comes from. Well, there's really one word that can sum that up: money. It ruins everything! I'll be going to college in January which I mentioned in an earlier post, but higher education is freaking expensive! Thankfully for me, I have a 24 on my ACT so I get half of my tuition paid for, but there's still the cost of books, dorm, etc. Sometimes I feel like I have the financial troubles of a 25 year old at 18... Ugh. I'm hoping and PRAYING that I can get some kind of financial aid for school to help my parents out. They're planning on splitting the bill, but college is still super costly.

While some weight has been lifted, other weight has been added. Bleh! Well at least I've only got about two weeks of high school left now. That's amazing. Senior project will all be over on Dec. 17th and then high school period possibly one day later in that week because I may be taking my Economics exam due to one lousy, annoying absence... -_-'

Anyway, I hope all of you have had a chance to read and answer the question I asked on FB last week. If you haven't please do! I'd really like some reader's input. Only two people have answered, but I really do want to know what my readers would like to see!

Speaking of, one vote was for more art. I promise that I will be posting pictures of my personal pieces soon. I'm trying to make it a habit to work in my sketchbook more, so this will be good encouragement. Haha!

Thanks for those of you who have been devoted readers. I appreciate the support you have all given me. As I'm writing this I'm up to 78 pageviews and 36 FB page likes. That's awesome! Thanks so much, and stay tuned in for more posts this week. :]

Fun for the Weekend

Well so far my weekend has started off really great. :] 

Last night my best friend, Stef, and I went to Hattiesburg and shopped at the mall. We both got to get some things and it was really fun just to get out of Columbia for a night. Haha. I got to get some new clothes, which a girl always needs of course! My favorite store is Forever 21 and let's just say the majority of my paycheck was blown in there last night. 

Today I'm going to be at my boyfriend's house which is really awesome. My weekends are mostly spent with him anyway, so the weekend blog entries will almost always consist of something involving him. 

Yesterday I got some very exciting mail from the college I'm dual-enrolled at. (Sidenote: Dual-enrollment is when you are a high school student AND college student at the same time, which is the case in most early graduation students such as myself.) I applied for my dorm last month and I was really hoping to get put in the honors girl dorms. So I opened the letter not really knowing what it would be about, and then I read what it said and was so happy. I got the dorm I wanted!! I move in January 8, 2013 at one p.m. It's so exciting to think that in a little over a month I'll be a full-time college student. :D

Well I think that's about it for now. Still totally loving this blog and if I have any readers, I hope you all are too. :]